This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
