how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
