You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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