You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
