ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
