some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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