Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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