You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
