Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
