So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he was CRYING into my vagina
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
