the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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