Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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