Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i came on her dog
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
