we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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