3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
