a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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