Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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