Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
