The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
