I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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