ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
