Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
