as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
