Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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