i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
