Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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