I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
