You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
