How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
