Will you blow on my dice?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
