Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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