Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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