she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
