I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize