you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize