He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
