Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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