Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Girls should come with a carfax report
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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