Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize