The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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