Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize