i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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