Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
