Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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