It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
