He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If its not for food we ain't going out.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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