i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
