Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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