the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
