If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
