No awkward lesbian experiences without me
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
