guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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