I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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