i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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