I am puke
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
