It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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