You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
