Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
